i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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