he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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