i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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