Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
id be glad to
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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