is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
