do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
