Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
