Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
