you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
