did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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