I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
