Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
