My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
