Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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