Moan for me like Helen Keller
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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