the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
