do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
