How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Randomize
