Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
