Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
My vagina is officially offended.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
