Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
