Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Randomize
