lets start a swedish sibling band together
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize