Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
