Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
