I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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