It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Randomize
