When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
