porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Less talking, more tequila
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
