break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
