Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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