mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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