you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
