I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
