ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
