ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
