Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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