I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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