Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
