K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
