Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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