I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
