Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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