Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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