I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
