i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
