There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
The ass gains better be worth it
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
