Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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