I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize
