goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
