he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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