My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize